Holee shet...

My profile's forking ancient! It says that I'm freaking 24!!! Jebus...I just tuned 27 this month. That would make this blog account 3 porking years old!

Holy shit, I still have a blog?

I totally forgot that I had this thing! (0_0!)

Anyway, nobody reads this thing, so I'm perfectly safe from anybody commenting, or even recognizing that sometime have minor grammer and spelling lapses (well, blogger still picks up my misspelled words, but that's all good).

Anyway, what's new? =p

of weird situations, accidents, and growth

October 10, 2004 12:35 PM
Subject:	Weird weekend ni Eric
Message:	I wanted to deleted this or at least reword it so that it didn't come off as negative or whiny, but I don't know what or how to change this... I'm not pissed off, I'm not angsty, just... confused and maybe a little hurt. I'll get over it, I always do. Like people sometimes say, things like this build character. Maybe there's a lesson here somewhere that I need to learn... Repost: I rarely make bulletin board posts. But this friday, something happened that made me feel like I had to say something... From my friend Paulyn's bulletin board post... October 8, 2004 7:51 AM Subject: LINDOL!!!! Message: Grabe lumindol lang just a few minutes ago. Natakot ako akala ko nahihilo lang ako at hihimatayin or something pero nung narinig kong kumakalampag yung gamit sa kabilang room natakot na ko. Whew!!! grabe! hanggang saan kaya yung lindol? naku sana wag namang magbadya to ng disaster. Me exams pa kami!!! gagraduate pa kami!!! =p Ingat po tayong lahat. That earthquake happened on the tail end of October, while I was at the 40th flr of PBCom tower. The floor was really moving, people were panicking, and things looked a little bleak. I felt that this must've been what it was like back at the twin towers. We were at the very top of the skyscraper, with very little hope of surviving, if ever the earthquake got much stronger than it did. Thankfully, things subsided, and the tremors went away. After that, we went on an extended break from the training, and some of us went down to have a little break from being inside a previously shaking building. We saw some glass panels at the ground floor had broken from the quake. After that, I had my first cigarette in over a year. It was that scary. I'm not gonna fall of the wagon and start smoking again, but being in that situation put a lot of things in perspective. It reminded of several lessons that I've come to appreciate as cornerstones of who I am. I'm reminded to live my life to the very fullest, to laugh as much as I want, to do the best that I can on all my endeavors, to never be afraid of who I am, and above all, to be greatful for all the friends that I've made all these years. And that was a great way to spend my 24th birthday. Even though no one, not even my mother, really remembered. Well, she did, once I got through the door, and she realized what day it was when she looked at the calendar, so when she got back from the mall, I got the prerequisite and half hearted attempt at a birthday gift by way of a new pair of pants and a shirt, and a hastily written happy birthday greeting with nary a real message in the 3 sentences it contained. Hehehe, and ok lang pala, cuz even though it was my birthday, I was stone cold broke, so I couldn't even buy myself a beer, much less treat people out to a celebration! =p Grabe na ang finding the silver nitrate on the dark cloud! ;p The one person who mattered most, not surprisingly, was also the only one who remembered my birthday, my girlfriend Dean. And for that, she will always have my eternal love. ***Sidenote: Even if my birthday truly blew, and virtually no one remembered (I really need to take those birthday alarm emails more seriously, instead of just deleting them!=p), several things happened over the weekend that more than made up for it. Going to my tito's 50th wedding anniversary, finding out that I had cousins more than twice my age, finding out that I had a clan that populated a small town, finding out that at my young age, I had GRANDCHILDREN, bonding with my aunts and uncles I never knew I had, and visiting the father I never knew in Bilibid before he was finally transferred to maximum security. Like what the adage says, if life gives you lemons, mag tequila ka na lang. "Life is pain, highness! Anyone who says differently is selling something." (Westley in The Princess Bride)

October 20, 2004 4:40 PM
Subject:	a reply to my friend's msg from my weird weekend...why do these things keep happening?~_0
Message:	thanks dude! i'm not sure if you've already received the spammed email about this thing, but it looks like i may be going through what a guy termed as the "quarter life crisis". its a semi-serious look at what it feels to be a 20-something in today's society, with all the bs that life throws at us. i dunno... its kinda hard when i think about it, cuz you may get distracted by all of the mundane everyday things like work, family, finances and friends, but in between these moments of distraction, you somehow always have these tiny slivers of time wherein its just you and the universe, and you can't help but wonder what your life actually means. i know its just me overthinking again, but here's another thing. guess what. i just got into an accident yesterday. i was at the front passenger seat of my officemates car and we were heading home after our graveyard shift, when all of a sudden, this brand new crv came out of right field and rammed the car we were on, with the impact point less than 2 feet away from me. the car was dragged for about 10 feet from where we were, the side, fender, and hood was smashed, but we all escaped with just a couple of bumps and all, so we're still pretty much ok. the thing is, combined with the things that happened on my birthday week, it looks like life is trying to tell me something. i'm just bothered that i may be too concerned trying to live to listen to what that message is. i know time is too short, i'm just trying to live. i know life is too precious, which is why i value all that i have experienced. i know peace is elusive, but we must not stop looking for it individually, and as a group. i know i'm young, but i'm not going to be young forever. but i don't know what to do with my life just yet. i don't know what to do with the time set before me. sorry dude... i just came from a shift today and my post doesn't make sense, but its how i feel right this very minute. it has no exact definition or message, its just a state of being. wala lang... =p again, thanks for the birthday greet, i really, sincerely appreciate it(no sarcasm or anything, i value any good sentiments, and i value the sender even moreÜ). but enough abut me, how has your life been going?Ü A friend of mine wrote: > i hope you dont go "aaaugggghh" over the subject > heading. hehe. was about to go home when i read > ur "not-angsty" msg posted at the bulletin. no > matter how u say it’s ok, i cud tell it’s > not...but that’s fine. if i wer in ur shoes, id > not only be angst-ridden,id also be very pissed > (brokenhearted too). if its worth anything > though, i did recall ur bday was this october. > syempre, arashi ka rin nmn..ur bday falls in > btwn kna carlo & emong. 8 or 9 nga ba?sensya na > ha. (what’s this about a father in bilibid? > curious lng ako..) anyway, m glad u seem 2 hav > things in better perspective. and though very > belated this might be, i jst wna say happy > birthday. =) > >

I posted the first entry on friendster a couple a weeks ago. The one that followed was posted Its grammatically incorrect, incoherenr, and a little bit (ok, a lot) whiny, bit that was what I was feeling at that particular time. I'll make sense of everything as soon as I have time...

My way home

I took the bus on my way home. And I'm still alive.

Okay, let me just clarify things first. For anyone (un)fortunate enough to stumble to this blog, I live in Manila, in a small country called the Philippines. Here in this country, very few twenty-somethings can afford to buy cars, so we have to contend with the public transportation system. Now for those of you living in 1st world countries, this would probably be a simple case of taking the downtown bus, or a bright and shiny cab. I can't afford to take a cab, and neither can the majority of us middle class working folk. So we take the bus.

Here lies the tricky part. We have 2 types in my country, to further segregate the haves and the have nots. Well, maybe not haves, maybe more on the lines of have a little more than nothing. For the haves, we have the airconditioned bus, which is, in reality, just a refurbished hand me down from Japan, retooled so there would be more seats to cram paying passengers in. Payday is still a week from today, so that meant that I couldn't afford the 2 bucks that provides me with rehashed air. So that meant that I had to take the cheaper alternative, the ordinary bus. This is essentially the same refurbished hand me down from Japan, but the difference is that the bus is usually much older than the airconditioned bus. Meaning busted a/c unit. And an ill-maintained engine. And a company that doesn't really care about little thing such as speed limits. Oh, wait, I forgot, my country does not have speed limits.

This makes for very exhillarating commutes, but when you factor in the time which was 12 midnight then, the slippery roads due to a slight drizzle Mother Nature intended as a cosmic joke, and that these thing have been known to tip over, then you have a true to life-white-knuckled-edge-of-your-fucking-seat ride, all for 12 pesos (less than a quarter US). All throughout the ride, I had this image of roller coasters without tracks, guard rails, or seat belts, teetering on it side every time the moron at the wheel over takes a car, which he does so often I had the feeling the bastard just had to take a piss but wanted to hold it in until he got to the end of the ride.

After I got off my stop, I suddenly remembered something. I promised my girlfriend I wouldn't ride those types of busesas they posed a danger to all who ride them, and to everyone in the immediate vicinity. I took the risk because I figured I'd save a buck or 2. With my balls jammed up near my lungs, I now realize an extra buck or 2 would have saved me from that bus ride.

But where's the fun in that?

Back in the blog!

Its been about 2 months since I last posted. Waaaaay too much happened in my life to add to the post, and its 4am in the morning here. Suffice to say that I'll be taking my life, and this blog, to a whole new direction. And when you consider that this blog, and my life, has had very little direction to begin with, then the changes can only be good. Will be adding loads of stuff pretty soon, but it doesn't really matter, as nobody reads this (yet).

my baby's 2 songs... it makes me feel good just thinking about her...

Dreamlover

I need a lover to give me
The kind of love
That will last always
I need somebody uplifting
To take me away

I want a lover who knows me
Who understands how I feel inside
Someone to comfort and hold me
Through the long lonely nights
'Till the dawn
Why don't you take me away

[Chorus:]
Dreamlover come rescue me
Take me up take me down
Take me anywhere you want to baby now
I need you so desperately
Won't you please colme around
'Cause I wanna share forever with you baby

I don't want another pretender
To disillusion me one more time
Whispering words of forever
Playing with my mind

I need someone to hold on to
The kind of love that won't fly away
I just want someone to belong to
Everyday
Of my life
Always
So come and take me away



Overjoyed

Over time, I've building my castle of love
Just for two, though you never knew you were my reason
I've gone much too far for you now to say
That I've got to throw my castle away

Over dreams, I have picked out a perfect come true
Though you never knew it was of you I've been dreaming
The sandman has come from too far away
For you to say come back some other day

And though you don't believe that they do
They do come true
For did my dreams
Come true when I looked at you
And maybe too, if you would believe
You too might be
Overjoyed, over loved, over me

Over hearts, I have painfully turned every stone
Just to find, I had found what I've searched to discover
I've come much too far for me now to find
The love that I've sought can never be mine

And though you don't believe that they do
They do come true
For did my dreams
Come true when I looked at you
And maybe too, if you would believe
You too might be
Overjoyed, over loved, over me

And though the odds say improbable
What do they know
For in romance
All true love needs is a chance
And maybe with a chance you will find
You too like I
Overjoyed, over loved, over you, over you

the all important links file... no tech support will be w/o this

TOOLS AND LINKS

Warp2Search
www.warp2search.net
This site contains up-to-date news on tech products, software, cool Web happenings, and most importantly driver revisions. This is the perfect site for those struggling to keep on top of the ever-changing world of technology, especially as it relates to hardware drivers for that certain gizmo that just doesn't work right.

Active Network
www.activewin.com
This site is the "The Most Activated PC and Windows resource." The name says it all. This is one of the best resource and info sites for the PC and Windows. It's a must for any true Windows fan or just the average user.

Windows Support Center
www.aumha.org
If you've got a beef with Windows and need answers that the Microsoft site is too obtuse to provide, then visit this site. Once here, you'll find registry patches, driver updates, and the all-important Windows FAQs. Fiddle around with Windows' more advanced settings only if you feel comfortable with them. This is a great site that all Windows users should know about.

Shell Extension City
www.shellcity.net
If you've ever wanted to "configure your system wickedly," then this is the place for you. This site features tons of hacks that let you tweak Windows interface settings. You'll also find links, message boards, and Windows hacking information. Advanced warning: This site is for those who know or at least think they know their way around Windows. This is definitely recommended for advanced users.

MajorGeeks.com
www.majorgeeks.com
This has to be the Swiss army knife of help sites. Don't let the ugly olive-green color fool you, as almost every portion of the site is packed with something you can use. You'll find benchmarks, tools, utilities, and tweaks.

Scot's Newsletter
www.scotsnewsletter.com
Scot Finnie, a former Windows Magazine writer, has turned his years of experience into a bimonthly newsletter. From PC help to do-it-yourself networking, Scot's newsletter is a great source for PC and Windows information.

LabMice.net
www.labmice.net
For anyone running Windows 2000 or XP, this is your site. You'll find Windows information tailored for the NT crowd.

Bob Cerelli's Windows Page
with assorted windows and computeer tips
www.onecomputerguy.com

WinPlanet - A World of Premium Windows Information and Tutorials
www.winplanet.com/winplanet/

Pure Performance
assorted system tweaks - outside support boundaries, advanced tweaks
www.pureperformance.com

extreme tech - tech news
http://www.extremetech.com/

Windows support newsletter
http://www.woodyswatch.com/windows/index.asp





Windows NT/2000 FAQ
general win2k/xp questions - limited
www.ntfaq.com

Windows Guides Network
www.winguides.com
Similar to the Windows Support Center, this is another fantastic Windows-related site. If you need a guide to a particular Windows functionality, then this is it. It has registry guides, security guides, scripting guides, driver guides, and of course software guide.

PC911
www.pcnineoneone.com
Are you worried about viruses, spyware, or system crashes? PC911 is the ultimate PC emergency site. It has helpful info on the latest viruses, security alerts, and of course those ubiquitous helpful downloads.

Windows tips and issues with search function
http://www.winnetmag.com/

matt hartley's reviews and ts guides
http://ctsdownloads.com/

memory ts and more tech tips
http://www.pcstats.com/articleview.cfm?articleID=1565





downloads and tutorials of free programs, including ad-aware and spybot
http://shadowfuri.modblog.com/?show=blogview&blog_id=165715&ref=lg




repair and common issues with pics of the most common fixes
http://www.webtree.ca/windowsxp/repair_xp.htm

windows xp tuning and ts site resource
http://www.xptuneup.com/xptuneup_stopmessages.htm

windows ultimate resource site
http://www.kayodeok.btinternet.co.uk

windows troubleshooting and support
http://www.kellys-korner.com/

screenshots of control panel
http://brivers.com

walkthu for win reinstall with screencaps
http://www.windowsreinstall.com/

How to Reinstall Windows Without Losing Your Data
http://www.pcworld.com/howto/article/0,aid,111652,00.asp

windows troubleshooting
http://www.wintrouble.net




dvd rw guide and tools
http://www.dvdrhelp.com/

how to burn cds through roxio
http://www.amherst.edu/it/software/burn/




complete startup list for windows
http://pacs-portal.co.uk/startup_index.htm
http://www.sysinfo.org/startuplist.php
http://www.lafn.org/webconnect/mentor/startup/PENINDEX.HTM

stop errors listing with descriptions
http://www.ntbrad.com/bsod.htm
http://www.theeldergeek.com/stop_error_messages.htm
http://aumha.org/win5/kbestop.htm

comprehensive parasite/spyware/adware listing
http://www.doxdesk.com/parasite/

virus and hoax email messages with removal tools
http://virusall.com/downrem.html




device driver downlooad source - non-miscrosoft
http://www.perfectdrivers.com/




56k modem ts
http://www.modemsite.com/56k/trouble.asp

ultimate cable modem troubleshooting guide
http://homepage.ntlworld.com/robin.d.h.walker/cmtips/index.html

ipconfig /release /renew for all os's
http://www.micronuts.com/html/releaserenew_ip.html

Troubleshooting Networks and Internet Connections windows xp
http://users.tpg.com.au/bzyhjr/networking.html#xf

Dial-Up Networking Error codes
http://www.modemsite.com/56k/dunserror.asp

internet explorer errors
http://www.generation.net/~hleboeuf/erriexpl.htm

Tips to fixing Windows 95, 98, 98se, ME, 2000 and XP network problems
http://www.careyholzman.com/netfixes.htm

serial numbers and keys
http://serials.ws/







DellTack Users Guide to everything "Dell"
http://the-predator.tripod.com/


coding and scripting
http://home.dreamincode.net/

leftover crap for when i was in tech support... for anybody who completely screws up windows, here's what you need to do

SYSTEM RESTORE IN WIN ME & WIN XP

Path to system restore
· Start
· Programs (win me) & All programs (win xp)
· Accessories
· System tools
· System restore

MSCONFIG IN ALL OPERATING SYSTEM

· Start
· Run
· Type in msconfig


REPAIR TOOL FOR INTERNET EXPLORER

Do this Internet explorer repair when they are getting error messages in using IE
· Click START, go to SETTINGS, then CONTROL PANEL
· Go to ADD/REMOVE PROGRAMS, in the install/uninstall tab, click INTERNET EXPLORER, click ADD/REMOVE, click REPAIR THE CURRENT INSTALLATION OF INTERNET EXPLORER.


HOW TO GET TO DEVICE MANAGER IN WHICH OS

WIN 9x and WIN ME
· Start
· Setting
· Control panel
· The System icon
· The device manager tab
or
· Right click on MY COMPUTER
· Go to PROPERTIES
· Device manager tab

WIN 2K
· Start
· Setting
· Control panel
· The System icon
· Hardware tab
· The device manager button
or
· Right click on MY COMPUTER
· Go to PROPERTIES
· Hardware tab
· Device manager button

WIN XP
· Start
· Control panel
· Switch to classic view
· System
· Hardware tab
· Device manager button




REPAIR IN WIN2K & WIN XP

(WIN 2K) You will need the OS reinstallation CD for this. Insert the OS reinstallation CD and reboot the computer.
· Start computer with CD Rom support, then start windows set-up in CD Rom
· Just follow the prompt until you see the windows 2000 professional set-up screen
· Press R, to repair a windows 2000 installation
· Press R again to repair a windows 2000 installation using the emergency repair process
· Press F, to do a fast repair
· Press L if they don’t have the emergency repair disk, press ENTER if they do
· Press ENTER to continue the repair

(WIN XP) You will need the OS reinstallation CD for this. Insert the OS reinstallation CD and reboot the computer. (Please remember that this is not available in the win xp update CD)
· Start computer with CD Rom support, then start windows set-up in CD Rom
· Just follow the prompt until you see the windows XP set-up screen
· Press ENTER, to set-up win xp
· Press F8, to agree to the license agreement
· Press R, to repair selected win xp installation.

Microsoft Knowledge Base Article - 322205
How to Troubleshoot Hardware and Software Driver Problems in Windows XP



DFFR

When doing DFFR, insert the Dell Dimension Resource CD and restart the computer, when you see the DELL Logo press Delete/F2 (which ever is appropriate) change the first boot device to ATAPI CD Rom. Then save and exit F10/Alt B (which ever is appropriate).
Start computer with CD Rom support

DEBUG

Type debug on the A prompt, and the following Bold Scripts:

A:\>debug
-F 200 L1000 0
-A CS:100
xxxx:0100 MOV AX,301
xxxx:0103 MOV BX,200
xxxx:0106 MOV CX,1
xxxx:0109 MOV DX,80
xxxx:010C INT 13
xxxx:010E INT 20
xxxx:0110 (just press enter)
-G

Program terminated normally

*After this please restart the computer and you’re done with debug.

CLEAN1K
If incase you wish to use the clean1k, instead of debug.
A:\>e:
E:\>cd hddutil
E:\hddutil>cd clean
E:\hddutil\clean>clean1k

Clean1k is about to wipe your hard drive would you like to continue: Y
*(The message may not be the same)

After please restart the computer.

FDISK

To partition the hard drive you need to boot to the Dell Dimension Resource CD.
And do the fdisk in A prompt.

A:\>fdisk

*You will get a message that says:

Your computer has a disk larger than 512 MB. This version of windows includes improve support for large disk, resulting in more efficient use of the disk space on large drives, and allowing disk over 2 GB to be formatted as a single drive.

Important: If you enable large disk support and create any new drives on this disk, you will not be able to access the new drive(s) using other operating systems, including some version of windows 95 and windows NT, as well as earlier version of Windows and MS-DOS. In addition, disk utilities that were not designed explicitly for the FAT32 file system will not be able to work with this disk. If you need to access this disk with other operating system or older disk utilities, do not enable large drive support.

Do you wish to enable large disk support (Y/N) …………………? [Y]

*If you choose yes the file system will be FAT32 and if no it will be FAT16.

· Choose 1 to create DOS partition or logical DOS drive
Ø Choose 1 to create primary DOS partition. (We don’t support multiple partition)
Ø It will then verify the integrity
Ø Use maximum available space.
Ø It will again verify the integrity
· You will then need to restart the computer

FORMAT

MX08R3394760532HAVJP


To do format you will need to boot to the DELL DIMENSION RESOURCE CD and do the format in A prompt

A:/>format c:/s

*You will get a question that says

All files in your removable drive will be erased, do you wish to proceed? [Y]

It will start formatting, and after it gets to 100% you will get a question.

Volume label 11 characters, press enter for none: just press ENTER

You are now ready to reinstall the OPERATING SYSTEM


REINSTALLING WINDOWS 98 & ME

After debug, fdisk and format you are now ready to install the operating system.
Please take out the dell dimension resource CD and insert the WINDOWS 98 REINSTALLATION CD and reboot the computer.

· Reboot the computer with the OS reinstallation CD in
· Choose boot to CD Rom
· Choose start windows set-up in CD Rom
· This will start the windows set-up and just make the customer follow the prompts
Be reminded that when reinstalling the OS and it needs to restart the computer, don’t let them touch the computer even if the computer is asking them whether to boot to CD or hard drive, just let it go.
· Then install the driver (Just go to the reinstall guide in Delltech)

REINSTALLING WINDOWS 98 SE W/ the PRODUCT RECOVERY CD

Please be reminded that you don’t need to format the HD to reinstall using the product recovery CD.

· Reboot the computer with the product recovery CD in.
· Choose to start computer with CD Rom support
· You will get a product recovery WELCOME menu
· Click OK and follow the prompts
· Choose format and recover hard drive (it will then format and unzip file)
· To install the drivers you can follow the reinstall guide in Delltech or reboot the computer and choose to recover drivers and install files and follow the prompts.


REINSTALLING WINDOWS 2K & XP

After debug you are now ready to install the operating system. You don’t need to fdisk and format.
Please take out the dell dimension resource CD and insert the WINDOWS 2K REINSTALLATION CD and reboot the computer.

· Reboot the computer with the OS reinstallation CD in
· Choose boot to CD Rom
· Choose start windows set-up in CD Rom
· This will start the windows set-up and just make the customer follow the prompts
Be reminded that when reinstalling the OS and it needs to restart the computer, don’t let them touch the computer even if the computer is asking them whether to boot to CD or hard drive, just let it go.
Then install the driver (Just go to the reinstall guide in Delltech)

SCANREG /RESTORE OR FIX

· Remember that this is the (sort of system restore and repair of win 9x and ME)
· The difference between win 9x and win ME is that in 9x this has to be performed in a pure DOS environment (meaning that you have to restart in MS-DOS mode) in ME you can use the command prompt on the desktop

C:\>cd windows
C:\windows>cd command
C:\windows\command>scanreg /restore

or

C:\>cd windows
C:\windows>cd command
C:\windows\command>scanreg /fix

· Scanreg /restore is used if the caller had installed any hardware or software that corrupted the registry file and system file
· Scanreg /fix is used if the caller didn’t do anything and the registry and system files still got corrupted.

my smart phone is still on the fritz, no matter what i do, well, at least i can customize the crappy POS

hahaha...dang phone, i thought i was stuck with a lame ass POS, it turns out i can get stuff to custimize it, into a customized POS!>;p

pocketmusic player
http://www.handango.com/PlatformProductDetail.jsp?siteId=1&jid=DC7EE2B276F13477A3313EE51F4A855D&platformId=11&productType=2&catalog=0§ionId=0&productId=85484

whole bunch a stuff for mah phone
http://www.airfagev.com/index.asp
http://www.yoursmartphone.com/
http://www.monolithix.org/SPV_software.html

and it plays music videos!!! wasapwitdat!!!=p

i love this forwarded msg that i've received, makes me feel good about resigning that god awful job

Toilet Paper


This is the commencement speech by the writer, Anna Quindlen, to the
graduates at Villanova:

I have no specialized field of interest or expertise, which puts me at a
disadvantage talking to you today.

I'm a novelist.

My work is human nature. Real life is all I know.

Don't ever confuse the two, your life and your work. The second is only
part of the first.

Don't ever forget what a friend once wrote Senator Paul Tsongas when the
senator decided not to run for re-election because he had been diagnosed
with cancer: "No man ever said on his deathbed, 'I wish I had spent more
time at the office.'"

Don't ever forget the words my father sent me on a postcard last year:"If
you win the rat race, you're still a rat."

Or what John Lennon wrote before he was gunned down in the driveway of the
Dakota: "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans."

There will be hundreds of people out there with your same degree; there
will be thousands of people doing what you want to do for a living. But
you will be the only person alive who has sole custody of your life.

Your particular life. Your entire life. Not just your life at a desk, or
your life on a bus, or in a car, or at the computer. Not just the life of
your mind, but the life of your heart. Not just your bank account but your
soul.

People don't talk about the soul very much anymore. It's so much easier to
write a resume than to craft a spirit. But a resume is a cold comfort on a
winter night, or when you're sad, or broke, or lonely, or when you've
gotten back the test results and they're not so good.

Here is my resume:

I am a good mother to three children. I have tried never to let my
profession stand in the way of being a good parent.

I no longer consider myself the center of the universe.

I show up.

I listen.

I try to laugh.

I am a good friend to my husband. I have tried to make marriage vows mean
what they say.

I am a good friend to my friends, and they to me. Without them, there would
be nothing to say to you today, because I would be a cardboard cutout. But
I call them on the phone, and I meet them for lunch.

I would be rotten, or at best mediocre at my job, if those other things
were not true. You cannot be really first rate at your work if your work is
all you are.

So here's what I wanted to tell you today:

Get a life. A real life, not a manic pursuit of the next promotion, the
bigger paycheck, the larger house. Do you think you'd care so very much
about those things if you blew an aneurysm one afternoon, or found a lump
in your breast?

Get a life in which you notice the smell of salt water pushing itself on a
breeze over Seaside Heights, a life in which you stop and watch how a red
tailed hawk circles over the water or the way a baby scowls with
concentration when she tries to pick up a Cheerio with her thumb and
first finger.

Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love
you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is work. Pick up the phone.
Send an e-mail. Write a letter.

Get a life in which you are generous. And realize that life is the best
thing ever, and that you have no business taking it for granted. Care so
deeply about its goodness that you want to spread it around. Take money you
would have spent on beers and give it to charity. Work in a soup kitchen.
Be a big brother or sister.

All of you want to do well. But if you do not do good too, then doing well
will never be enough.

It is so easy to waste our lives, our days, our hours, our minutes. It is
so easy to take for granted the color of our kids' eyes, the way the melody
in a symphony rises and falls and disappears and rises again.

It is so easy to exist instead of to live.

I learned to live many years ago. Something really, really bad happened to
me, something that changed my life in ways that, if I had my druthers, it
would never have been changed at all. And what I learned from it is what,
today, seems to be the hardest lesson of all:

I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that it is not
a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get.

I learned to look at all the good in the world and try to give some of it
back because I believed in it, completely and utterly. And I tried to do
that, in part, by telling others what I had learned.

By telling them this: Consider the lilies of the field. Look at the fuzz on
a baby's ear. Read in the backyard with the sun on your face.

Learn to be happy. And think of life as a terminal illness, because if you
do, you will live it with joy and passion as it ought to be lived.

May your life be like a TOILET PAPER... Long and useful!!!

********
Marge =)


"I thought I could change the world. It took me a hundred years to figure out I can't change the world. I can only change Bessie. And honey, that ain't easy either."
--Bessie Delany

songs from leo! here's what i've been listening to recently

chillout project

Solu-Fade(earth mix)
Avalanches-A Different Feeling
Dj Drunken Monkey-Gratification
David Guetta-You Are the Music
Rise Ashen-Second Wind
Sublevel-Just us
Amma-Heartbeat
Kaskade-What You Are To Me
Spencer Gray-Pillow Talk
Gaelle-Rain
Me'Shell NdegeOcello- Earth
Mimosa-Say you'll be mine
Groove Armada-Love Box
Miguel Migs-The Night
Heather Headley-I wish i wasn't
Solid Sessions-Janeiro

Alight
Gouryella-In Wahalla
BT-Satellite
Rank 1-Airwave
The Thrillseekers-Synaesthesia(Fly Away)
Three Drives on Vinyl-Greece 2000
Chicane-Saltwater
Darude-Touch Me Feel Me
Ayla-Dreamland
Blank &Jones-Heaven
Nat Monday-Waiting
Roger Sanchez-Another Chance
Mandalay-Beautiful

Best of Cafe del Mar

Disc1
Paco de lucia-Entre Dos aguas
Karen Ramirez-troubled Girl
Ben Onono-Tatouage bleu
Mari Boine-Gula gula
Lux-Northernlights
Jose Padilla-Adios ayer
Lamb-Angelica
The Sabres of Paradise-Smokebelch II
Phil Mison-Lula
Moonrock-III street blues
The Ballistic brothers-Uschi's groove
New Funky Generation-The messenger

Disc 2
The Penguin Cafe Orchestra-Music for a found harmonium
Les Negresses Vertes-Face ala mer
Zuell-Olas de sal
AR Rahman-Mumbai theme tune
A Man called Adam-Easter Song
John Martyn-Sunshine's better
Jose Padilla-Come back
U2-In a little while
Moby-whispering wind
UKO-Sunbeams
Lamb-Trans fatty acid
Bush-Letting the cables sleep
Nookie-Paradise
Electribe 101-Talking with myself

Paul Van Dyk-Reflections

Crush
Time of our lives
Like a friend
Reflections
Nothing but you
Buenaventura
Homage
Never forget
Knowledge
That's Life
Connected
Spellbound
Kaleidoscope

Chicane-Easy to assemble

Love on the run
Daylight
East side story
In praise of the sun
Locking down
Spirit
Arizona part 2
Some might say
Kilometer
Something wrong
Empires

Orange CD

Paul van dyk-Forbidden fruit
Azzido da bass-Doom's night
DJ Tiesto-Lethal Industry
Mauro Picotto-Fuck on E
Chicane-Love on the run
Moony-Dove (lounge mix)
Chicane-Daylight
Digweed-Heaven Scent
Milky-Just the way you are
Moony-Dove (i'll be loving you)
Oscar G-Dark Beat
BT-Flaming June
Who da funk-Shiny disco ball

Paul Van Dyk-Out there and back

Vega
Pikes
Another Way
Travelling
Avenue
Tell Me why
Together we will conquer
face toface
the love from above
columbia
out there and back
we are alive
for an angel

The Beach soundtrack

Leftfield-snakeblood
All saints-pure shores
Moby-porcelain
Dario g-voices
Underworld-8 ball
Sugar Ray-spinning way
Asian Dun Foundation-return of django
Blur-on your own
Mory hante-yehe yehe
Faithless-woozy
Barry Adamson-richard, it's business as usual
New Order-brutal
UNHLE-lonely soul
Orbital-Beached

2002 Annual

Disc: 1
1. Another Chance [Original Mix] -roger sanchez
2. Flawless [Phunk Investigation Vocal Remix] - the ones
3. Just the Thing [Sgt Slick's 'Vinyl Voyage' Club Mix] -paul mac
4. Salsoul Nugget [Original Mix] - Girl Next Door
5. Let It Ride - sgt slick
6. Come Home [Agent Sumo Remix] - Lil Devious
7. Save Our Soul - Bob Sinclar
8. One More Time [Original Mix] - Daft Punk
9. In the Music [Original Mix] - Deep Swing
10. Bass Has Got Me Movin [Original Mix] - love tattoo
11. Everyday of My Life [Junior Jack Vocal Mix] - Dajae
12. Romeo - Basement Jaxx
13. I'm So Crazy (Original) - Par-T-One
14. Finally [Danny Tenaglia 'Time Marches On' Dub] - Kings of Tomorrow
15. Soul Shaker - Max Linen
16. Chase the Sun [Extended Vocal Mix] - Planet Funk
17. Touch Me [Original 12"] -rui da silva
Disc: 2
1. Crystal [Digweed and Muir Bedrock Mix] - New Order
2. Rapture [John Creamer and Stephane K. Remix] -ii0
3. Real Life [Original Mix] - Raven Maize
4. Keep Control (Original) -sono
5. Sandstorm [Superchumbo's SandY Sandstorm] - Darude
6. I Feel Loved [Danny Tenaglia Remix] - Depeche Mode
7. Guitarra G [Warren Clarke Dub] -bandora -sonora
8. It Began in Afrika - The Chemical Brothers
9. Intensify, Pt. 1 - Way Out West
10. Star 69 [Timo Maas Remix - Fatboy Slim
11. American Dream [Commie Remix] - Jakatta
12. Precious Heart [Marc O'Tool Remix] -tall paul vs inxs
13. Getting into You [Original Mix] -wosp
14. Joyenergizer [Physical Mix] - Joy Kitikonti
15. Verdi (Original) - Mauro Picotto
16. Played-A-Live -safri duo
17. Operation Blade [B'n'g Versus Musico Remix]
18. Sun [Ambassador Remix]-slusnik luna
Chicane-Behind the Sun
1. Overture
2. Low Sun
3. No Ordinary Morning
4. Saltwater Original
5. Halcyon
6. Autumn Tactics
7. Overlap
8. Don't Give Up
9. Saltwater (The Thrillseekers Remix)
10. Andromeda
Mauro Picotto The Double Album
Disc: 1
1. Lounge
2. Pulsar
3. Save a Soul
4. Like This Like That
5. Bug
6. Planet
7. Proximus [Meldey With Adiemus]
8. Lizard
9. Ultimahora Ibiza
10. Iguana
11. Save a Soul [In FM Mix] [*]
12. Save a Soul [Save a Soul Mix] [*]
13. Pulsar [R.A.F. Euro Mix] [*]
14. Komodo [Save a Soul Megavoices Claxixx Mix] [*]
15. Iguana [Claxixx Mix][*]
Disc: 2
1. Electic
2. Underground
3. Pegasus
4. Baguette
5. Goodbye
6. Deep Blue
7. Legacy
8. Get Me Flying
9. Pacific Unplugged
10. Lizard [Tall Paul Mix][*]
11. Pegasus [Superclub Mix] [*]
12. Iguana [Megavoices Mix][*]

The Annual 2000
Disc 1
1. Sunset (Bird of Party) - Fatboy Slim
2. Groovejet (If This Ain't Love) - Spiller
3. Forever Man (How Many Times) - Eric Clapton
4. Pasilda - Afro Medusa
5. Sunday Shoulin - Johnny Corporate
6. Camels - Santos
7. Must Be the Music - Joey Negro feat.Take Boom
8. Sexual - Amber
9. Dooms Night - Azzido Da Bass
10. Scorchio - Sasha & Emerson
11. Silence - Delerium feat. Sarah McLachlan
12. Caned and Unable - Hi-Gate
13. Warrior - The Warrior
14. Storm Animal - Storm
15. Feel the Beat - Darude
16. Kernkraft 400 - Zombie Nation
17. Can You Dig It - Journey Man DJ
18. Toca's Miracle - Fragma
19. Love Shy - Kristine Blond
20. revelation - Electrique Boutique
21. Power of Love - Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Disc 2
1. It Feels So Good - Sonique
2. Lady (Hear Me Tonight) - Modjo
3. Don't Call Me Baby - Madison Avenue
4. You See the Trouble With Me - Black Legend
5. I Feel for You - Bob Sinclair
6. Believe - Ministers De-La Funk feat. Jocelyn Brown
7. Bad Habit - ATFC Presents Onephatdeeva feat. Lisa Millett
8. Spaced Invader - Hatiras
9. Koochy - Armand Van Helden
10. Sandstorm - Darude
11. Sister Sister - Sister Bliss
12. Jaguar - DJ Roalndo AKA The Aztec Mystis
13. Don't Give Up - Chicane feat. Bryan Adams
14. The Return of Nothing - Sandstorm
15. Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad - Moby
16. Bullet in the Gun 2000 - Planet Perfecto
17. On the Beach - York
18. Time to Burn - Storm
19. Freebase - Tall Paul
20. Angel - Ralph Fridge
21. Hudson Street - Angelli & Nelson
22. Tell Me Why (The Riddle) - Paul Van Dyk feat. St Etienne

my new blog

i've just resigned from my previous job as an outsourcer for a computer company. that was my first job, and it sucks that i got into a company that didn't know how to treat its employees properly. properly meaning "humane treatment" and "reasonable work expectations", not "luring people w/ vast amounts of money and ping pong tables. a health plan may be nice, if your sick 24/7, but it don't mean squat when you're only allowed to be absent from work 3 times in 3 months. other than that, and your grades for promotion and evaluation dip in the low "failing" grades.

well, to get over my *snicker* grief at losing that job, i've decided to start a blog. i've already got 2 other blog accounts, but one was either hopelessly restrictive, or wayyy too complicated w/ too many buttons and links. blogger looks pretty straightforward, w/ loads of other options onve i do decide in cinfiguring this thing wickedly, to borrow from a windows tweaking site's motto.

i'll be transferring my files and blogs to this account, so pardon the huge number of text stuff appearing in the next couple of days.